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Mar. 17th, 2010 01:10 amSmecker slowly strode into the crime scene. He always preferred to take everything in, the sights, sounds and smells, before making his presence known. The door he walked through had been kicked in, nearly clean off its hinges.
Greenly was standing to one side flipping out while Duffy and Dolly were frantically trying to get him to “calm the fuck down!” so it wasn’t difficult to slip in unnoticed.
The home was immaculate; the shoes were neatly lined by the door, and all surfaces were free of dust and clutter. It was very tastefully decorated. The table was set and a very nice meal had been laid out. From the look of things, someone had interrupted a dinner meeting. There was a place for everything, and everything in its place… except for the five dead men around the table.
The first was leaning back in his chair. He looked like he was taking a little snooze… if not for the two bullet holes in his chest. Three more lay around the sides of the table; two had chairs leaning by them where they had toppled in the men’s efforts to escape the carnage. One final man lay just off the head of the table. He had the distinction of being the only one with the two signature gunshot wounds to the back of the head.
All five men lay on their backs, arms crossed over their chests and shiny pennies placed heads up over their closed eyes.
His attention finally turned back to the three men arguing at the head of the table.
“Fuck! It’s them! They’re back! What the fuck?!” Greenly’s eyes looked like they were going to pop out of his head.
Duffy was trying his hardest to keep his cool, “Calm down Green Beans! If it was them they woulda told us so we’d be ready, right? It’s not them!”
“But… they got pennies… and lookit that guy!” he pointed to the man on the floor next to them.
Dolly shook his head, “naw, anyone can shoot a guy in the head. That ain’t nothin’ special.”
At this point, Smecker decided to interject, “are you three just going to stand there squabbling, or would you like to do some actual police work?” he put his hands on his hips and looked pointedly at Greenly, “I could always use a coffee.”
Greenly looked back and forth between Duffy and Dolly before shaking his head, “Aww fuck.” He snapped off his gloves and stormed out the door.
“Now that it’s a bit quieter in here…” Smecker slipped in his ear buds and hit the play button on his Discman. As the first notes of La Luna began to soar through his ears, he pulled on a pair of gloves and got to work.
He started by examining the door. He leaned over to take a close look at the door jam, the lock and, finally, the door itself. Patting the edge of the door, he turned and scanned the room, an image already forming in his head. Sweeping his arms, conducting the music flowing through his ears, he walked to each of the bodies to the sides of the table, looking back and forth between the body, the table and the door, visualizing the trajectory of each bullet. Finally, he made his way to the fifth victim. Lifting up the man’s head, he took a look at the entry wound.
Satisfied that he’d seen everything, he stood up, took a deep breath and pulled the ear buds out of his ears. “It wasn’t them.”
“Thank God!” Greenly stood in the doorway, holding Smecker’s coffee.
He walked over and took the cup from him, taking a sip before he said, “are you ready to hear what really happened here?” He smirked as the three stooges flipped open their notebooks simultaneously.
“This was no random mob assassination. It was well thought out, well planned. It just wasn’t planned well enough. Six men sat down here for a dinner meeting, only one walked away.”
“Wait… six? But…” Greenly looked around the room, quickly counting the bodies (just in case). “There’s only five of ‘em… and only five places set at the table.”
Smecker heaved a sigh and rolled his eyes to look at him. “Greenly, what would happen if you took the plate in front of you and put it over there on that stand?”
Greenly looked confused, “Uh…. It’d be over there instead of here?”
“It’s simple math. Five plates minus one plate equals four plates.” He spread his hands wide and smiled, “get it?”
“Dolly and Duffy couldn’t help but chuckle as Greenly’s face fell and he stared, open mouthed at Smecker.
“As I was saying,” Smecker continued, ignoring Greenly, “six men sat down for a dinner meeting, only one walked away.”
He moved to stand behind the body in the chair, “This man’s still in his seat. This tells us three key things. Dolly.” He pointed.
“Uh… he was the first to get popped?”
“Right! Duffy?”
“If he was the first and all the other guys ran, he must’ve known the other guy. He was taken by surprise?”
“Two for two! Greenly?”
“Uh… he… was comfy when he died?”
Smecker sighed and shook his head, “That’s hardly important information, is it, hot shot? It tells us that the men were seated at the table when it all went down.”
“How’s that help us?” Greenly looked puzzled.
“If they were sitting down and taken by surprise, that means our shooter was an invited guest to this last supper.”
As he began his description, the scene played in his head as vividly as if he were really there, watching it unfold.
“The maid who found ‘em said that once the meal was laid out, all the staff left the house. Whatever they were discussing was sensitive enough that they wanted no witnesses. Knowing that fact, our mystery man decided it was the perfect time to stage an assassination; and thought that using the boys as scapegoats was a great way to get away with murder.
The six men sit down, the meal is served and the staff leaves. As soon as the front door closes, the bullets start to fly. This one’s hit first,” He pats the one still in his chair on the shoulder. “The others tried to run, but the small room made ‘em sitting ducks just waiting to be picked off.”
He knelt down behind the man at the head of the table. “This man is Baruti Doust, a known diamond trafficker from Africa. He was the target. Our mystery man put him on his knees and executed him.”
“I dunno, man,” Greenly shook his head. “If it happened like you said, why’s the door kicked in? Why kick down the door if you’re already in the room?”
“He wanted to add to the assumption that an outsider was in this room.” Walking over, he pointed at the lock. “This door wasn’t locked when it was kicked in. He staged the pennies, walked out, shut the door and kicked it in.”
“What if someone just didn’t know the door wasn’t locked?” Duffy shrugged.
Smecker swung the door shut and smiled, “Blood spatter on the inside of the door is a good clue, don’t you think?”
The three just looked at each other as Smecker snapped off his gloves and smirked at them. “Check into known associates, anyone who’d have something to gain by that man’s death. Start with whoever takes over his position.” He gave an approving look to one of the uniformed officers before smirking at the men in front of him, “Now then, I’m meeting someone for lunch, I trust you can handle the rest by yourselves?” With that, he spun around on his heel and walked off.
Greenly was standing to one side flipping out while Duffy and Dolly were frantically trying to get him to “calm the fuck down!” so it wasn’t difficult to slip in unnoticed.
The home was immaculate; the shoes were neatly lined by the door, and all surfaces were free of dust and clutter. It was very tastefully decorated. The table was set and a very nice meal had been laid out. From the look of things, someone had interrupted a dinner meeting. There was a place for everything, and everything in its place… except for the five dead men around the table.
The first was leaning back in his chair. He looked like he was taking a little snooze… if not for the two bullet holes in his chest. Three more lay around the sides of the table; two had chairs leaning by them where they had toppled in the men’s efforts to escape the carnage. One final man lay just off the head of the table. He had the distinction of being the only one with the two signature gunshot wounds to the back of the head.
All five men lay on their backs, arms crossed over their chests and shiny pennies placed heads up over their closed eyes.
His attention finally turned back to the three men arguing at the head of the table.
“Fuck! It’s them! They’re back! What the fuck?!” Greenly’s eyes looked like they were going to pop out of his head.
Duffy was trying his hardest to keep his cool, “Calm down Green Beans! If it was them they woulda told us so we’d be ready, right? It’s not them!”
“But… they got pennies… and lookit that guy!” he pointed to the man on the floor next to them.
Dolly shook his head, “naw, anyone can shoot a guy in the head. That ain’t nothin’ special.”
At this point, Smecker decided to interject, “are you three just going to stand there squabbling, or would you like to do some actual police work?” he put his hands on his hips and looked pointedly at Greenly, “I could always use a coffee.”
Greenly looked back and forth between Duffy and Dolly before shaking his head, “Aww fuck.” He snapped off his gloves and stormed out the door.
“Now that it’s a bit quieter in here…” Smecker slipped in his ear buds and hit the play button on his Discman. As the first notes of La Luna began to soar through his ears, he pulled on a pair of gloves and got to work.
He started by examining the door. He leaned over to take a close look at the door jam, the lock and, finally, the door itself. Patting the edge of the door, he turned and scanned the room, an image already forming in his head. Sweeping his arms, conducting the music flowing through his ears, he walked to each of the bodies to the sides of the table, looking back and forth between the body, the table and the door, visualizing the trajectory of each bullet. Finally, he made his way to the fifth victim. Lifting up the man’s head, he took a look at the entry wound.
Satisfied that he’d seen everything, he stood up, took a deep breath and pulled the ear buds out of his ears. “It wasn’t them.”
“Thank God!” Greenly stood in the doorway, holding Smecker’s coffee.
He walked over and took the cup from him, taking a sip before he said, “are you ready to hear what really happened here?” He smirked as the three stooges flipped open their notebooks simultaneously.
“This was no random mob assassination. It was well thought out, well planned. It just wasn’t planned well enough. Six men sat down here for a dinner meeting, only one walked away.”
“Wait… six? But…” Greenly looked around the room, quickly counting the bodies (just in case). “There’s only five of ‘em… and only five places set at the table.”
Smecker heaved a sigh and rolled his eyes to look at him. “Greenly, what would happen if you took the plate in front of you and put it over there on that stand?”
Greenly looked confused, “Uh…. It’d be over there instead of here?”
“It’s simple math. Five plates minus one plate equals four plates.” He spread his hands wide and smiled, “get it?”
“Dolly and Duffy couldn’t help but chuckle as Greenly’s face fell and he stared, open mouthed at Smecker.
“As I was saying,” Smecker continued, ignoring Greenly, “six men sat down for a dinner meeting, only one walked away.”
He moved to stand behind the body in the chair, “This man’s still in his seat. This tells us three key things. Dolly.” He pointed.
“Uh… he was the first to get popped?”
“Right! Duffy?”
“If he was the first and all the other guys ran, he must’ve known the other guy. He was taken by surprise?”
“Two for two! Greenly?”
“Uh… he… was comfy when he died?”
Smecker sighed and shook his head, “That’s hardly important information, is it, hot shot? It tells us that the men were seated at the table when it all went down.”
“How’s that help us?” Greenly looked puzzled.
“If they were sitting down and taken by surprise, that means our shooter was an invited guest to this last supper.”
As he began his description, the scene played in his head as vividly as if he were really there, watching it unfold.
“The maid who found ‘em said that once the meal was laid out, all the staff left the house. Whatever they were discussing was sensitive enough that they wanted no witnesses. Knowing that fact, our mystery man decided it was the perfect time to stage an assassination; and thought that using the boys as scapegoats was a great way to get away with murder.
The six men sit down, the meal is served and the staff leaves. As soon as the front door closes, the bullets start to fly. This one’s hit first,” He pats the one still in his chair on the shoulder. “The others tried to run, but the small room made ‘em sitting ducks just waiting to be picked off.”
He knelt down behind the man at the head of the table. “This man is Baruti Doust, a known diamond trafficker from Africa. He was the target. Our mystery man put him on his knees and executed him.”
“I dunno, man,” Greenly shook his head. “If it happened like you said, why’s the door kicked in? Why kick down the door if you’re already in the room?”
“He wanted to add to the assumption that an outsider was in this room.” Walking over, he pointed at the lock. “This door wasn’t locked when it was kicked in. He staged the pennies, walked out, shut the door and kicked it in.”
“What if someone just didn’t know the door wasn’t locked?” Duffy shrugged.
Smecker swung the door shut and smiled, “Blood spatter on the inside of the door is a good clue, don’t you think?”
The three just looked at each other as Smecker snapped off his gloves and smirked at them. “Check into known associates, anyone who’d have something to gain by that man’s death. Start with whoever takes over his position.” He gave an approving look to one of the uniformed officers before smirking at the men in front of him, “Now then, I’m meeting someone for lunch, I trust you can handle the rest by yourselves?” With that, he spun around on his heel and walked off.
